Are you disappointed with your child's school? I get several emails a week from parents complaining bitterly that the school is acting unreasonably or unilaterally and what can I do about it! My gentle response is that maybe, just maybe, it's your child's fault and not the school's!
The usual tip-offs include:
- a miserably unhappy child who complains about school
- a note requesting a conference with your child's teacher(s)
- a generalized feeling that a teacher is picking on your child
Let's look at several scenarios:
The Teacher Nobody Likes
Every child is going to encounter at least one teacher with whom she just does not get along. It's a good lesson for a child too, because the real world is full of people we don't understand or relate to easily. In fact I have personally worked for a few of those people.
The lesson for your child to learn is how to devise a way of managing the situation in the best way possible. She is just going to have to grin and bear it, as the old saying goes.
My Child Would Never Do That!
Perhaps not in your presence, but how your child behaves at school where he is surrounded by dozens of his peers - well, sorry to burst your bubble, dear, but that's another story altogether! Listen to the facts of the alleged misdeed, accept the proof offered, assure the school that it will not happen again. Then when you and your child are alone, get to the real reason for the misdeed. Is it just adolescent mischievousness or is it the manifestation of a more troubled youth?
The former is easily dealt with. Simple withdrawal of privileges for a stated time should suffice. The latter? Not so easy. Consider getting some counseling if necessary or perhaps a serious talk with a trusted family adviser or mentor will do the trick. You know your child. Go with your best judgment
The Bottom Line
One last bit of counsel: private schools operate under what is known as contract law. There are no constitutional rights in a private school. You signed those away when you signed the enrollment agreement. Finally, if you are still not satisfied with the manner in which the school is handling a situation, you have the option of withdrawing your child.
Conclusion
Keep the lines of communication open. Discuss issues calmly. Don't rush to judgement. Get all the facts. Listen carefully to all sides of the issue. Try to understand the school's point of view. Stay involved. Be observant.
Each situation is unique. So you will have to use your wisdom and experience in dealing with people and circumstances to resolve whatever the problem is. That's what a good parent does.
